Free moment to share a free heart
Four motorcycles and 5 family members just went to the track with some friends. There is a race coming up in a few weeks and Max and Gabe need to get in some practice as each of them is riding a new-to-them bike. The girls went along as well to ride their TTR but I don’t know if their dad will convince either of them to race. That leaves Gavin and I in the house. He is taking a break from the harsh reality of spelling words and is playing somewhere and here I sit with a moment to write. It is rather strange. I am glad there are several guys from town outside my window playing soccer or it would be too quiet.
As you know our future plans are a little up in the air; sharing the Gospel – yes, church planting – yes, but where, when, how, and other details are not very clear at the moment. We know God has perfect timing and we are content to wait for his direction.
We had an amazing week at our SAM Peru Field conference last week. I would like to think that I had made myself aware of the harsh realities of life here and culture shock and all the rest – but we live in a fallen world and our SAM team falls very short of perfection. For us, personally, there has been a lot of frustration, hurt and dissappointment that has been accumulating over the past 2 plus years. We thought we had forgiven and tried our best to make the best of several bad situations but truth be known – hurt, distrust and unforgiveness were weighing us down. It was such a heavy weight that we found ourselves drowning under it and questioning everything. During our time at conference last week God set us free. You will have to ask Christian about his experience but I was set free in so many ways last week. God reveled my own sin and the root of many of my hurts and we were able to go and speak the truth in love. Forgiveness was freely given and it was so good to bring the truth out into the light.
God ministered to me in a powerful way on the subject of authority. Who/what has authority in my life? Jesus, being God, is the only true authority I have. I had given that authority over the a hurting and fearful heart. I have kept my heart and much of our life hidden from friends both here and at home because I felt no one would ever understand. God showed me that was probably true, but that it didn’t matter. He sees everything – he saw everything and his heart was grieved by his people not getting along. As I prayed one morning at conference he spoke to my heart and I realized that God understands perfectly and that is all I need. What he suffered at the hands of his own people really puts my hurt feelings into perspective. I am free now and I love it. I am free to love God and love others. I couldn’t say that two weeks ago.
During the conference we were also encouraged to dream. SAM 20/20 is a ten year plan to refocus the vision of SAM. It is not so much about the vision as it is about being obedient. Are we, as members of SAM, ready to do whatever God asks? Are we willing to change fields? Different country? Different city? Different ministry? Go home? Not that there is a master plan to implement – but are we willing? Some of us have been in the same place and same job for 20 plus years. Some of us are new and full of expectations of what we want to do. Are we willing to lay our plans down to be obedient? It may seem like a simple question but answering it honestly will reveal much about our hearts and shine light on every area of our lives.
I don’t quite have the words . . .
We have been away at conference all week. God did amazing things during our time away. I want to tell the whole story but the words fail me at the moment. Please pray along with us this week as we seek wisdom.
Jesus is God and is worthy of all we have and are.